{{6 Months of Finn }}

Another month has gone by and this one is a biggy. We are officially at the half of a year old mark. Six months old, six months young, six months of pure sugar, six of the best months we've ever had in our lives.

  

Developmental Milestones:

Eating two "meals" of puree a day.

Wiggling all around on the floor to get where/what he wants.

Sitting up unassisted for about a minute before toppling over

Grabbing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he is interested in (and then putting it in his mouth).

Has officially outgrown one of his swings. :(

Reaching for momma, daddy, gramma, and his papa.

Cooing and babbling up a storm.

Throwing things on the floor and then watching them on the ground until someone is able to come pick it up, in which he then throws it on the ground again. :)

Looks Like: Daddy mostly, but again starting to see more of myself in his face around his little mouth.

Eating: 5-7 oz. every 2.5 hours plus 2 pureed meals of a fruit/veggie and single grain oatmeal.

Weighs: 18.9 lbs.

Inches: 27 1/2

Play: Is really interested in anything he can reach out for and actually accomplish grabbing, mainly, interested in things that are not his toys (remote, phones, I-pad). Loves his exersaucer, playing with toys on his belly, and anything that allows him to be in motion.

Sleep: Still some nights of struggle, but for the most part he's back to only getting up once in the middle of the night for a feeding (typically 2am).

Size: 6-9  to 9 month clothes. Size 3 diapers.

Hair: Blondie. More and more each day. It's so soft I just rub my cheeks all over that fuzz.

Eyes: BLUE. <3

What He Loves: 

Putting all things in his mouth

Reading (chewing on) books

The movie "Home"

Bath time

Dancing with momma

Avocados

Currently obsessed with our kitty Jappetto

Grabbing cheeks and pulling us in for wet smooches

Yoga After C-Section

Before getting pregnant you could say that I was more infatuated with the physical aspects of yoga and focusing on what new inversion/pose I could nail than anything. I loved how yoga allowed me to see progress in such short amounts of time. One day during my practice I'd still be an inch or so away from letting my toes tickle the hair on my head, and then BAM... just like that my toes would be resting on my head the very next day. Don't get me wrong it was all hard work, but I just loved that physical evidence of progress. It was addicting. In my first trimester of pregnancy I was still very much into the physical aspects, though I slowed down a bit. When my body did start growing  my practice without a doubt began evolving. By the middle of my second trimester I was no longer concerned with the physical challenges anymore. Each day on my mat was my time to practice mindfulness, to focus on my breath and to connect with the life that was growing inside of me. I started to feel such a sense of fullness and peace at the end of each practice as opposed to a sense of "accomplishment." I started to crave that feeling of connectedness throughout my day, and that's when I realized that my practice had become whole. I was making progress, but it wasn't just physically. It was mentally, emotionally, mindfully. And truly I don't know that I would have ever improved in those areas had there not been a beautiful little heart beating inside of me. I am forever grateful that our little guy gave me the gift of not only himself, but the gift of deepening my practice on so many other levels.

Anyway, I continued to practice all throughout my pregnancy and actually up until the day of  (though at that point my practice consisted mainly of staying in malasana/squat pose for 30 minutes). My plan was to have an unmedicated, vaginal delivery and return to regular practice as soon as I possibly could. Well, we all know how birth "plans"rarely ever actually go to plan, and long story short we ended up with an emergency cesarean. (If you DO want the long version, you can find our birth story here).

After weeks of bearing myself down to cough/sneeze, hugging walls just to walk down the stairs, and feeling as though my guts were going to fall out of my belly button at any moment...I knew that I was really going to have to start over in my practice. And boy was I right. It really, truly, was, starting over. Initially even the basics such as tree pose and down dog were difficult! It's amazing how much you do use your core in everyday life, and having had diastasis recti in addition to a cesarean made for a double challenge. Though I had to go back to the basics, I wasn't disappointed in the least! Mainly because the reason I had to go back was the best thing that ever happened to me; and also, because in the past the foundational poses came all too easily. So working on them and really paying attention to my posture, breath, form, and mindset was all so revitalizing!

• With that said, I initially only did some light stretching postpartum in addition to some daily walking. After my 6 week check-up I was told that I was healing beautifully and given the go-ahead to slowly get back into a regular routine (with MY sense and comfort in mind). From about 6 weeks to 9 weeks I was simply sticking to the basics. Honestly, a couple of Sun Salutations, a little floor work (cat, cow, balasana/child's pose) and some standing poses made up my practice for the day.
•  I returned to taking classes at a local studio at approximately 10 weeks postpartum...and WHOA, was that a challenge. The classes I attend are very much dedicated to the traditional Ashtanga yoga practice and typically run through most of the primary series. A lot of modifications were needed but I didn't mind a bit, the instructors were more than helpful.
•  I initially avoided twisting and used blocks for a lot of the sitting asanas. I became comfortable with twisting and going without blocks at about 16 weeks PP. At that time and even to date (baby boy is 5 months old) I still have reservations when it comes to inversions or anything that requires me to bend backwards. I have irrational thoughts of my incision site bursting at the seams, but I'm learning that those fears are okay. It allows me to celebrate small victories like holding bridge a second longer each week or moving another inch away from the wall when doing inversions.
•  Don't let your mind wonder and focus on all that you used to be able to do.There's no use in getting upset over things that don't go to "plan." We set such high expectations for ourselves but life has it's own flow in mind, we have to learn to just let go and to flow with it.

(Photos taken by the amazing Vienna Glenn Photography)

Reflecting on my experiences, my birth, and my practice, I wouldn't change a single thing. Being pregnant allowed me to deepen my practice to where mindfulness and breath became more important than the physical aspects; and having gone through a cesarean allowed me to appreciate the power of foundational yoga poses. I didn't appreciate them the way I do now. The basics. The deepening of each simple pose. Though I am progressing and working on my inversions once again, I without a doubt get the most out of the simplest asanas.

For you yogi mommas who have gone through a similar experience, my best advice is to take it slow. Go with the flow, literally. Welcome the challenge of having to go back to the basics. Love and appreciate your bodies for what they've beautifully grown and endured.

xo
Kelsey


NOTE: I am in NO WAY a certified yoga instructor/teacher. Though I've had wonderful teachers along the way, a majority of my journey through yoga has been that of self-discovery and curiosity to learn independently. This post is simply based on my personal experiences with returning to a yoga practice post c-section. Know that each woman's healing experience is unique to them and may look entirely different than my own. Always play it safe and consult with a professional/physician before returning to physical activity post-babe. <3

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5 Months of Finn

Can someone please tell me why "5 months" sounds so much older than four? At four months we were still closer to "newborn." Now, we're closer to being a HALF OF A YEAR old! What? But baby boy I just had you? Now I get it... I do. Those moms...you know the ones...the one's that make you do quick math when you ask how old their babe is. "Oh, he's 64 weeks old." Because if you keep telling their age by week then they'll never truly get older, right? Wrong. Our little bubba's are going to keep growing regardless. That's proven every morning when he wakes up in skin tight jammies that you swear were loose before you put him to bed. Don't get me wrong, I love his little growing self. He's learning so much and it's so fun to watch. I adore him. I freaaaaking love. our. son. Finn at 5 months:

  

Developmental Milestones:

While on belly props himself on knees and attempts to push up (in crawling position).

"Worming" around during tummy time.

Had his first pureed foods: sweet potatoes and pears.

Held his own bottle throughout the entire feeding.

Choosing toys he's most interested in out of a line-up.

Very aware of surroundings-looks for us when we say his name.

Looks Like: A damn angel. He's gorgeous. I still see mostly John but am starting to see more of myself around his mouth-cheeks-jaw area.

Eating: Still about 5 oz. of breastmilk every 2.5 hours. We tried the teeny bit of puree but decided we wanted to wait until he was 6 months to make it a daily "menu" item.

Weighs: We have an 18 pounder. <3

Inches: 27 1/4

Play:  Loves to gnaw on the face of his fox, sock monkey, and jungle monkey. Is an avid fan of dance parties and awkward body movements from his dad and I. Still loves his alone time on his jungle mat. Prefers to play with toys in his high chair over saucer or swing.

Sleep: Has been variable. Some nights he's back to sleeping through them, while others he's up 2-3 times. Currently trying to establish a schedule!:)

Size: 6 to 6-9 month clothes. Size 3 diapers.

Hair: His hair is growing back again! Cute blonde peach fuzz on his round little gourd.

Eyes: Blueeee Blue Blue!

4 Months of Finn Aloysius

Well we totally passed by the 3 month mark and are now at 4months! I started back up at work full-time and the last month or so has been a time of craziness coming to some sort of functionality with regard to routine amongst my little tribe. I’m happy to say that we definitely have gotten the swing of things, despite me still wishing I could just be a stay-at-home momma [insert drastic cry face here]. Finn continues to be a dreamy little babe. I mean really, what was life even like before him? Obsession doesn’t even come close to how I feel about him. I love him so much that I feel sorry for him having to deal with such a (s)mother. Finn in a nutshell at 4 months old:

Developmental Milestones:

Rolls from back to belly

Gut laughs. Like real, hard, gut laughs. <3

Holds himself up with arms straightened during tummy time

Can perform circus-type balancing acts with his co-star, daddy

Can hold intellectual babble conversations

“Scoots” when on belly

Looks Like: He is still 100% his father. Though, he does make a lot of my facial expressions.

Eating: About 5 oz. of breastmilk every 2.5 hours. We recently just introduced a teeny bit of rice cereal to him a couple nights ago as well, he didn’t seem to really like or dislike it.

Weighs: 15.8 lbs

Inches: 26 inches

Play:  A very vocal little babe. Still loves his alone time on his jungle mat, has warmed up to the mama-roo, and loves his new Johnny Jumper! We recently bought him a play saucer that he’s getting used to and…we introduced him to Little Einstein’s…this.kid.loves.little.einsteins.

Sleep: I’m kicking myself in the tush right now for bragging these last few months that he’s slept through the night since he was about 6 weeks old. This past week he’s been getting up almost every 2 hours! Though I will say I think his cold had something to do with it. I adore the middle-of-the-night snuggles, but fingers crossed this “4 month regression” turns around!

Size: Wearing all 6 month clothes. Size 2 diapers.

Hair: He’s definitely a little blondie. Unfortunately, he had a bit of cradle cap that daddy couldn’t help but pick at…leaving him with some actual bald spots!! He’s still the cutest little bald babe that ever was, however.  

Eyes: Totally rocking some gorgeous blues right now.

Modern Wrap Goodness

Bubs and I were oh so lucky enough to have been chosen to be featured in Modern Wrap's Modern Motherhood series (#MWModernMotherhood on Instagram!). I've said it 100 times over and I'll say it again, baby wearing has been a lovely little dream. I get to get things done around the house and snuggle Finn simultaneously...win! Plus, it's been said that wearing your babe helps with their cognition as there's more opportunity to interact in the environment around them...double win. Modern Wrap is a line that carries wraps, nursing/car seat covers, + swaddling blankets. The fabrics/patterns these items come in are (modern) and gorgeous...really. We love the bit of stretch in the fabric as it allows little man to be snug but comfortable when I'm wearing him. We chose the color natural for the classic carrier wrap, a black + white stripe for the swaddle blanket, and marbled grey for the nursing wrap. Below you'll find the answers to some questions Modern Wrap wanted to know about us regarding this new adventure into parenthood:

What has motherhood taught you?

-Motherhood has taught me to be present in the moment. To be mindful and to soak in the beauty of my every breath that is spent with my little. It’s taught me that there really is a form of love so unconditional that it aches. It’s taught me to toss comparison out the window, to rock the scent of spit-up, and to leave the dishes in the sink, because these moments are precious and father time certainly isn’t going to slow down for us.

What do you want most for your child?

-As a new mother naturally I should say I want the world for him.  But really, I want for him to be both a compassionate and passionate little soul. To believe in and stay true to himself despite a world that will constantly challenge that.  To grow in an environment in which he knows how incredibly loved he is. To experience happiness in whatever form it may come, and to have an admirable, wild imagination that never fades.

If you breastfeed your baby, what was the biggest challenge you experienced with breastfeeding? How did you overcome it?

-Breastfeeding is not for wimps, I’ll certainly say that. Initially my little guy latched and took to it like a champ, but shortly after my breasts became so engorged that it was nearly impossible for him to latch on which led to a lot of frustration and crying on both ends. I was so overwhelmed emotionally and actually questioned my ability to continue breastfeeding him. But, by practicing patience and mindfulness on top of having plenty of “nurse-in” days, I’m happy to say we overcame the days of struggle. Feedings now are such a moment of peace and magic for us, I’m so happy I stuck with it.

Ava Anderson Non Toxic: Baby Massage Lotion Product Review

First of all, I genuinely do not know how we haven't come across this wonderful company sooner. Ava Anderson Non Toxic is a brand devoted to offering a line of products that are completely rid of toxins and/or chemicals. They utilize 100% natural ingredients, using skin safe essential oils (which you know we love) to naturally fragrant their goods.They don't just offer skin care products either, they go above and beyond with lines like Ava Auto, Pets, Home, Hair, BABY and Garden, just to name a few. Ah, perfect for our little fam!

We were given the opportunity to give the baby body & massage lotion a go from their Ava Baby line, and boy are we happy about it! Finn may not get a bath every night, but he is a boy who loves his nightly baby massages (so naturally we were pretty pumped to try it out). Six nights/massages later...we're in love! Not only is the lotion itself just absolutely wonderful, but it gives this momma peace of mind to know that I'm not soaking my precious little's skin with harsh chemicals.  You can follow this link http://avaandersonnontoxic.com/why-non-toxic/ to get more information on how to identify dangerous chemicals and other tidbits of info such as how the FDA does not regulate the personal care products industry (because many labels on some of our beloved products say organic or natural, when the reality is there are still chemicals in them). Ava products are 100% chemical free and completely natural. Did I say that already? I'll say it again...one hundred percent of goodness.

S L A T H E R away without a care in the world, my friends.

Review:

Scent: It's scented using lavender essential oil so it has a genuine lavender smell, not that artificial lavender scent you get in a lot of other products. So calming, and not just for my babe! I swear as I'm massaging his chunky little leg rolls I drift off into a relaxing world of my own because of the smell; and it's not overpowering either.

Consistency: Nice. You'd think because there are a couple different base oils in it that it'd be super greasy feeling but it isn't at all! Not too thick and not too runny.

Color: cream/natural

Size: 8 oz. Despite using it every night I think this bottle will last us a while due to not needing much when using. The oils in it make it easy to spread/go a long way and it overall absorbs into the skin nicely. Also, being it holds 8 oz. the container is not too bulky. Translation: easy to toss into a diaper bag and take with you everywhere you go (because we have).

Price: Completely budget friendly. This 8 oz. bottle goes for $12.95 on their website.

Effectiveness: It really is a soothing lotion that's perfect before bedtime and calming down my little. Not to mention, his skin still smells delicious in the morning after using it at bedtime. I also want to note that my little guy had a rough/bumpy/rash-y patch on one of his meaty thighs, and after massaging it with the lotion only once it was cleared up the next day (not sure if this was because of the lotion, but it was the only other variable different in our nightly routine).

O V E R A L L: a budget friendly, wonderful smelling, good for your health, natural product that you can feel good about using. I am so happy that we had the opportunity to test this out. And seriously I can't wait to get my hands on all the other goodness this company offers...a PET line? We have 5 animals...we're sold.



Finn Aloysius: {2 Months Old}

Two months now! It's no joke when they tell you not to blink. Everything happens so, so fast. Finn is growing like a little weed, and as much as I hate seeing the itsy bitsy-ness disappear, his growing self gets more fun each and every day. He's so much more alert and interactive. He looks at me with his blues like he really knows who I am now...and those stare-downs while breastfeeding just melt me to mush. Such a happy little man too, ugh. I mean of course there are fussy moments...but 90% of the time he's happy/content as can be. Here's some more 2 month goodness:

Developmental Milestones:

Holding his head up like a champ

Turning his head/smiling in response to our voices/sounds

Laughing

Rolling from belly to back

Holding his head and chest up during tummy time

Uses his legs to 'jump' while holding his arms

Looks Like: Totally dad. Some people say they are seeing a good mix of us both now, but I'm still seeing his daddy.

Sleep: 7 to 8 hour stretches nightly. Cat naps throughout the day :)

Eating: Breastfeeding about every 2 hours. I started to stock milk in preparation for returning to work too (crying) so in the night while he's sleeping I pump.

Weighs: 12 lbs. 7 oz. (per doctor's visit, in the photo it says 4 oz. but that was via home scale).

Inches: 24 inches! Again, the photo is slightly off due to my lack of at-home measuring skills.

Play:  Coo's and squeaks in response to my ridiculous mommy-baby talk. Loves his alone play time in the morning where he just lays on his jungle mat and stares at a monkey. Is seriously in awe of ceiling fans. Loves to stare at some canvas art he has in his nursery during diaper changes. AND he started giggling!! We even caught his first true giggle on camera, yay!

Size: Wearing 3 (getting snug) and 3-6 month clothes. Size 1 diapers.

Hair: I swear there is some hair there! It's just so light he looks like a bald old man in most photos (the most adorable old man, however).  

Eyes: Deep blue, but they're starting to get lighter!

What He Does (and doesn't) Like: 

LOVES his night time baby massages

Has taken a liking to swaddling at bedtime (though we have to wait until he's super drowsy already to wrap him up in one)

Likes to be worn in a baby wrap/carrier (but for no longer than an hour)

Falls asleep to the sound of the vacuum and hair dryer

Needs some kind of muffled noise to sleep (we use the baby sleep sounds app)

LOVES to look at his cute self in a mirror

Loves to snuggle in the morning

Does NOT like a soiled diaper. Like, change me immediately.

Does NOT like being naked, unless he is in his tub

Likes to swing

Likes mom's left boob more than her right. ( I mean seriously, night and day difference in size now). 

LOVES the bottoms of his feet rubbed/touched

Likes to go out on the boat 

Does NOT like Lake Michigan coldness on his feet (or any cold water).

Likes when momma sings to him

Loves to be outside



Emotional Spillage

Oh Finn, what you do to me. I sit here with you napping across my lap, feeling your big belly breaths go in and out, wondering what it is that you’re dreaming about right now. What’s going on in that little mind of yours? Everything is so new and exciting for you, as it is for us sweet boy…just in different ways. It’s amazing the amount of change you’ve brought amongst us. Clearly we expected a world of change pending your arrival…but never to this extent. Never to the extent to which the way I think about every little thing in life and what I want for it has changed. Never to the extent to which the concept of “planning” has almost completely dissipated.  Planning. Nearly my entire life prior has been a life of planning. Planning to go to college, grad school, when to start my career, when to get married, when to start trying for a baby, what we’re doing over the weekend…you get the idea. Always living for the future despite my best attempts to stay present in the moment. But you, my little monkey, you’ve single handedly managed to turn a planning-obsessed woman into someone who doesn’t want to think ahead further than dinner time. I bask in every millisecond that I get to spend with you. I’ve never felt more present in my entire life and what a force field of a feeling that is. Sure, there have been moments in my life where I was completely mindful and present, but other times it was hard work which is why yoga and meditation became such necessities. But with you, living in the present comes so easily.  I just watch you so intently…like it’s my job…and in staring at you for 1 minute I can tell you that about 50 different questions cross my mind. “You’re mine?” is the one that frequents most often.

{A Day in the Life}

Hello all! We've had a few people ask us recently about what a typical day looks like in our little world these days, so I figured I'd write a quick snippet of just that! Of course each day is different as there's new places to go and wonderful people to see, but aside from those ventures, this is what remains pretty consistent in our day to day:

First of all, we've been spoiled by our human as he's now sleeping like a little champ at night. Typically, he wakes up for the first time at around 3:30-4 am, but this past week he's been making it to 5:00 am. I feel like I could take on the world after getting that much sleep! After his 5 am feeding we bring him upstairs for snuggles in our room. I didn't mention this in our 1 month update, but we actually started putting him to sleep in his crib (in his nursery downstairs) at about 4 weeks old. We have a great bassinet next to our bed where he was sleeping each night...but after a while I noticed how broken and inconsistent his sleep was in it. He just never seemed comfortable and was always thrashing around. Not to mention, I couldn't sleep a wink as I responded to EVERY little coo and sound he made. Throughout the day I put him down for naps in his crib and immediately I noted how peaceful his sleep was during those naps...he just slept so soundly in it and I couldn't tell you why. I was SO terrified and hesitant to move him to his crib so soon. I mean I literally planned on sharing a room with him until he was at least 6 months, but at the end of the day I didn't want to compromise both his and our sleep just for the comfort of knowing he was right next to me. SO with that, I ran out and bought the Angelcare baby monitor (it detects motion and an alarm will sound if breathing is not detected after a 20 second time span), it was the only way I'd go through with the transition. Sure thing, the little bugger slept for a good 6 hour stretch that night! He's been sleeping in his crib ever since.

Anyway, after our morning snuggles we typically get up for the day at about 7:30-8am. By that time he's shark attacking for a breakfast boob. Of course after feedings there's the burping, diaper changes, etc., but we won't include those in this daily schedule as most mommies know those occur randomly and a million times a day. In the early morning after feeding, I lay monkey down on his jungle play mat where he ooh's and ah's by himself for a good 20-30 minutes. At this time momma slips in her breakfast and morning cup o' tea. By 10:00 we're getting ready for our daily walk. This is where he gets a good one hour nap in or more, we've yet to go on a walk in his stroller where he hasn't fallen asleep. After our walk I usually let him finish out his nap and then strap him into a baby wrap so that I can tend to the laundry, tumbleweeds of fur we have rolling around (fortunately we have a baby who falls asleep to the sound of a vacuum), dishes, watering plants, etc..

As for a feeding schedule, we were going on an every 2-3 hour basis. However, with the recent growth spurts he's been on demand feeding which lately has been about every 1.5 hours. Which means right now throughout the day I'm practically topless for a majority of it.  After lunch he naps again and I try to squeeze in some me time by doing some yoga, perhaps a shower, (or let's be honest, taking a nap myself).

The afternoon is when we run any errands we may have or go on little adventures (like the zoo!). The typical feed-nap-change combo obviously continues on. By about 6pm my happy nugget starts to get a little fussy. That's another thing I can't explain, but hey, I guess the boy's allowed a fussy time. John and I try to squeeze in dinner during this time but usually have to eat in shifts. By 8:00pm we're starting our bedtime routine consisting of a feeding, bath, baby massage, and horrible singing from yours truly. :) We're also fortunate enough to have a babe that doesn't need to be completely asleep yet before we lay him in his crib. We put him down when he's drowsy and he does the rest with soothing himself to sleep...which makes it nice for mom. On average, he's down at the latest by 9:30 pm, and as I said earlier, sleeps to about 5am.

So there yah have it, a typical day in the life of Finn man. Now remember this is just a tidbit of what's consistent in our day to day, there's a lot that goes on in between those times like visiting friends and family, lots of laughing, sometimes crying, cleaning puke I'm not aware is on me until I stand up and feel warmth slide down my tummy and come out the bottom of my maxi, calming down a screaming babe...you get the idea. <3

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{{1 Month with Finn Aloysius}}

Yes, it has already been a month. It sounds strange even saying it..."I have a 1 month old." Not, "I'm due any day now" which towards the end was coming out of our mouths about 40+ times a day. One whole month. It's been incredible. There's just no other way to put it. I will say that there isn't a book or a blog or another human on this Earth that can remotely prepare you for the first days with your little. I don't know about other mommies, but I will be honest and say that those first few days I was absolutely terrified. Every little thing I did, every sound he made, I questioned my ability to parent him "correctly."  I had fear of judgment when there wasn't even anyone around. I loved this human with every ounce of my being and I wanted nothing more than to do everything right for him. For example, though Finn latched beautifully in the beginning, the first week we really struggled with breastfeeding. My breasts became so engorged when my milk came in that it was quite literally like trying to latch on to a boulder for him. I took warm showers and manually expressed milk, pumped, put cabbage leaves in my bra...but they just kept filling and filling and man, does that shit hurt. We started him with a bottle right away with milk I had pumped since latching was impossible during that time, and of course all that ran through my mind was nipple confusion. I've had a million+ people tell me not to introduce a bottle for x amount of time to avoid such 'confusion' but we didn't really have a choice. John could tell I was feeling discouraged, and I really did feel so. I was questioning myself as a mother yet again and found myself crying about it way too frequently. "I'm supposed to be able to do this." "How do other engorged mothers feed their babies?" GOOGLE GOOGLE GOOGLE. (By the way, I think I may have Googled 100 different things a day during those first weeks, no sarcasm).  Moral of the story is DON'T compare your experience in those first weeks to others' experiences. Just like labor, each person's experience is unique to them and you'll drive yourself bonkers and create unnecessary emotional turmoil if you try and match your experience up to how you think it should look like. I don't know why I put myself through that agony and allow those feelings to even take over like that, because after a few days the engorgement went away and he was again feeding off these boobs like a champ. And you know what, fists in the air to the research out there that scares mommies into thinking their babies won't latch correctly if a bottle is introduced too early...he goes back and forth from boob to bottle like he's been doing it for years. :P Which leads me to this...

The top FIVE things I've learned as a new momma:

1. YOU know your baby best. Research and advice from others can only take you so far. Though there are excellent sources out there, you know your baby best and it's your natural instinct/superpower as a momma to know what works and what doesn't for your babe. Try not to feel discouraged if what works for others is not working for you and your little, and vice versa. Remember that this is all new to both you and baby, you're both learning as each minute passes...things get easier and soon that fear trickles away (well, takes the backburner anyway) and the awe and joy of your bundle of perfection is back in the forefront of your mind.

2. You WILL cry over spilt milk. Just saying. We work hard to make that liquid gold for our little's! I've had two instances that left me hyperventilating already...one of which I just clumsily knocked over a fresh expressed bottle and another in which I fell asleep briefly while pumping...only to be awakened by milk splattering everywhere from overflow. Bummed.

3. Swaddling is for the birds. Just kidding...I know this is something that works for sooo many babies and there is plenty of research behind it saying that it brings back that comfortable feeling of being in the womb. But, swaddle my kid and be prepared to watch the thrashing and fury one might see if they were to catch JAWS in a fishing net (see now why #1 was yet again appropriate for things I've learned?) ;)

4. Your own basic needs are no longer that important. Yes yes it's still important to have mommy time and take care of yourself so don't read too far into this, but, showers and bathroom breaks just don't seem to matter as much anymore (though a shower feels miraculous when I am able to slip one in.)! I can't even tell you how many times I've had the urge to go to the bathroom only to get distracted (perhaps by a feeding + diaper change + nap?) and then remember 2 hours later that I had to go. Or how many times I've made myself a nice meal only to have it sit on the counter for a good hour. I will say that even though meal times are sporadic, EAT EAT EAT! It's all over the board but I eat/drink water as much as possible to keep my energy up. And I do make it a point to walk 2 to 3 miles a day but that's something that both the little guy and I look forward to each morning. <3

5. You will never love as hard and as much as you love your own child. People say it all the time, I know. But really...you'll never love something the way you love your babe. I love our Finn man so much it physically aches. There are times during snuggles that I just burst into tears...partially because my hormones are still out of whack, but also because I just love him so damn much. It's an indescribable emotion, I'm not even sure it exists in the human body until you have a baby...either way, it's simply amazing.

Okay, one more. "Mommy Brain" does exist.

Symptoms may include:

-forgetting to wash the conditioner out of your hair

-talking about people that don't exist to your husband during feedings ( Dr. Patricia?)

-putting your cellphone in the refrigerator

-putting many other non perishable things in the refrigerator.

-attempting to unlock your house by pulling out your debit card

-speaking in what seems like tongue at times

-putting a fresh diaper on your babe but forgetting to wipe the very noticeable yellow poop off their bottom (yes, that happened. don't worry, I snapped to quickly).

...you get the idea. :)

{{ Now! A few of my postpartum faves! }}

The belly bandit! This thing has been an absolute must. Especially after having a C-section. Wearing this early on made it feel less like my guts were going to spill out all over the place. It forced me to have good posture which was necessary as my body's natural instinct to avoid pain was to be hunched forward. Also, it's known for helping the uterus shrink back down more quickly. I don't wear it all throughout the day (little guy doesn't like to snuggle when it's on), but I do wear it when I go on walks and on and off when I can at other times. Find this must-have here.

40 weeks vs. 4 weeks postpartum

Traditional Medicinals Mother's Milk tea. It's supposed to help increase milk supply, but honestly I just drink it for its sweet yumminess. I will warn you, it smells like black licorice ( I despise black licorice) but it doesn't taste like it at all. :) I haven't personally noticed any difference in milk supply because of it, but I do drink it pretty regularly so who knows.

Chocolate. Bring on the chocolate. We're one month post partum and there hasn't been a single day that's passed where I haven't had some form of chocolate. Now is not the time to be depriving yourself of treats and going on crash diets to get your pre-baby bod back. Your body just endured something miraculous and is in overdrive now producing your babies' food source. Though I incorporate plenty of healthy goodness in my diet throughout the day, my overall diet is by no means the picture of health. But like I said, I eat and treat myself because I need the energy and personally I feel as though I deserve the dang chocolate on a daily basis. I'm shrinking down just fine by sticking to the basics like walking, drinking a ton of water, light yoga (more like basic stretching), and eatttingggg.

Baby Wearing. The OCD-ness in me can only allow the laundry to pile so high and floors go without vacuuming for so long...cue the baby wraps. There's nothing quite like baby-wearing, it allows you to practically snuggle your little one while also getting things done around the house. Yes please. My faves are the Modern Wrap baby wraps as well as Happy baby wraps.

And that is all for now! We'll be checking back soon with more updates. If there's anything specific you'd like me to blog about do not hesitate to contact me!

{The Arrival of Finn Aloysius: Our Birth Story}

As I'm sitting here trying to think of where to even begin, I find myself getting emotional as it's already been a week since our gorgeous little human made his debut. A WEEK! All of that anticipation and waiting around that felt never-ending is gone, and now I'm just trying to soak up every single second of every day. I know I'm a newbie...but being a mother is magical. Seeing my husband's fatherly instincts arise out of nowhere, is magical. Seeing this little tiny human and remembering that just last week he was contorted into a little ball inside of me...is magical. It's all just so beautiful and I could probably just gag you all with the amount of mushy-ness and love I have pouring out of my heart and soul right now. But, there will be plenty more posts on that so for now I'll spare you and get to the best day of our lives.

If you've been following our little blog throughout this pregnancy, you'll know then that I wanted nothing more than a natural, un-medicated birth. However, I was realistic with myself in knowing that things don't always go to plan, especially when it comes to birthing. I, in fact, did everything in my power throughout my pregnancy to prepare for a natural delivery. From teas to yoga/meditation to eating unpleasant things, I was sure that though I knew things don't always go to plan, that for some reason I was excluded from that notion...and that things would just go the way that I wanted. Because hey, I was devoted to the idea! Well, things didn't necessarily go the way we expected, to say the least.

It all started on Monday, May 25th (Memorial Day!). I woke up at 3 a.m. to some pretty nifty contractions that just felt different from the usual Braxton Hicks I'd been having in the weeks prior. We were already overdue and at this point every little pain and tingle was IT in my mind. Little to my surprise these contractions were quite consistent, consistent enough for me to begin tracking them.  5 a.m. rolls around and contractions are now like clock-work, 7 minutes apart and increasing in intensity; not to mention, some bloody discharge. Ohhh boy, it's go time! I decided to jump in the shower and gather our bags. Another hour rolls by and sure thing, these "intense" contractions start lessoning in intensity...by 10 a.m. they were about 20 minutes apart. Dammit. This was not it. John and I went on about our day, getting brunch on the water and walking our hearts out with the hopes of again triggering those contractions. I had them on and off throughout the day, but they were in no way consistent any more. Another night rolls around and John and I hit the hay, accepting the fact that our little guy would let us know when he's ready.

11:30 p.m.- May 25th- "JOHN!!" FINALLY, a sure tell sign, my water had broken! Not only did it break...it exploded. Water was erupting out of me uncontrollably and I didn't know whether to laugh because of the mess I was making, or cry because of the contraction that was accompanying the explosion at the time that about brought me to my knees. This, was it. We knew that meeting our baby boy was only hours away...my heart was bursting. John phoned our doctor and my mother while I gathered the rest of our things.

12:15 a.m.-May 26th- We immediately went to the hospital as my contractions were hitting fast and hard. I jumped in my gown and was just so ready to take on this major task! As sick as it sounds, I was excited about the pain...I welcomed it, because I knew that it meant I'd get to meet my much anticipated baby so very very soon. My momma met us there and us three got comfortable in the room we'd be able to meet sweet boy in (so I thought). As I said, contractions were hitting pretty hard. They were less than 5 minutes apart and intense enough from the beginning to where I quite literally couldn't speak when one came on. John, bless his heart, absolutely hates seeing me in pain, so naturally his anxiousness was starting to come out. He sat on the couch in our room and just talked to me, encouraging me through each one with "you're doing so great sweetie." My mom was the one bearing my hand squeezes and rubbing my back. I pulled out my positive affirmations and said them over and over again in my head as each contraction approached. "You can do this, the pain is not greater than you, because it is you." I was feeling pretty nauseous during each one as well, to the point to where I was gagging pretty frequently.  My nurse came in and asked if I'd like medication for the nausea and pain...."No. I'm okay." I was lying on my side and as the next contraction approached...barf. Straight through my nose and all over the bed. John frantically tried to fetch a puke pan but by then it was too late, I was a mess. Not to mention I felt like I was just consistently peeing myself from all the fluids coming out down there. I mean I expected labor to be messy, but whoa. After cleaning up a bit I decided I needed to move around. John, my momma and I went for a little stroll around the L&D floor, there was only one other woman there with me at the time so it was incredibly quiet. Good thing, because right as we were approaching our room again, I leaned up against the wall and the intensity of the contractions and again....barf. This time it was pretty violent puking. My poor nurse. I told her that I felt like I was going to shit myself as well and at the moment I didn't have the energy to make it back to the room. Thank goodness my dignity was slightly spared as that didn't end up happening.

4:00 a.m.- May 26th- By this time I was contracting about every 3 minutes and starting to get the urge to push. Surprise #1: I felt another huge gush of fluid coming out of me, looked down, and my heart sunk. Meconium. The little stinker decided to take his first poop right inside of me. I couldn't help but panic a little...I've heard horror stories of long hospital stays and the dangers little humans face when they let their stuff fly before exiting the ole' womb. My nurses came in right away and did another cervix check. Surprise #2: "Baby has gone breech." My baby who had been head down for a majority of this pregnancy had at some point flipped himself around. It wasn't even minutes before my team walked in all scrubbed up, and with paperwork for me to sign on needing an emergency C-section. I couldn't even wrap my head around what was happening...it was all so quick. All I knew is that I was terrified. I hadn't prepared for this...I had prepared for a natural delivery. That's it.
I wanted nothing more than to feel the might of creation move through me. I felt like Elizabeth Banks in the movie "What To Expect When Your Expecting" (which I had watched 100+ times), "But this isn't a part of my plan!" I didn't say that of course, in fact, I didn't say anything at all. My husband and my mom knew I was terrified, all I had to do was look at their faces that just read "I know you're scared but everything will be okay," and I lost it. John was right by my side and reminding me of what we were going to have at the end of all of this. He was right. Who am I to be so selfish and get angry at how our little human was deciding to make his entrance? At that moment my anger subsided, but the fear really didn't. Next thing you know John's all geared up for surgery too. We made our way into the OR and John had to wait in the hall until I was all prepped. Great. Alone at a time where I needed my husband the most. The spinal went in while I buried my head in fear on one of my nurses' shoulder. Next thing you know, I don't feel a thing. All I could focus on was the fact that the upper half of my  body felt like it was having a grand mal seizure. I was shaking uncontrollably, but apparently that's normal after having a spinal. "Alright, bring dad in. Are you ready?"

 5:20 a.m.-May 26th- "Congratulations, he's beautiful!" I wanted so desperately to see but there was a stupid sheet obstructing my view of this beautiful baby. I looked up at John and he was just smiling ear to ear. I wanted to scream/cry/laugh...such a rush of every emotion your body is capable of feeling ran through me. "8lbs, 4oz, 19 inches!" the nurses yelled. Man did our Finn have some pipes too, he was just a screamin'! I want to see I want to see I want to see. Finally, they brought him over to me and laid him next to my head. He was so beautiful. He was beautiful and he was healthy and he was ours. Perfect little nose, perfect little lips, everything daddy except for one ear that stuck out, just like mommy. I wished I could have stared into his baby blues longer, but both he and John had to leave while I got put back together again. I was so sad about the brevity of that stare down, but happy that daddy had the chance to bond with him immediately. I knew I'd get my time. It took about 30 minutes before I was back in our room with him, but it felt like hours. The nurses stripped me down ( I was pretty weak yet and still numb from the belly button down) and laid my precious little one on me for skin to skin time. This is the moment I had been longing for so long. It was heaven...and he took to breastfeeding so naturally which was a relief.
I'm a mom.