{40 Weeks}

Well, we're officially 40 weeks pregnant and little munchkin is still all snug in this belly. The anticipation of baby boy has been making me feel a surge of emotions that I really just cannot explain. It's been an unreal notion that this was already my first week of maternity leave! After my appointment last week and finding out we were dilated and effaced as much as we were I thought for sure it was only a matter of days, perhaps even hours at the time. But no...here we are, a week later and still towing a belly that is rounder than ever. Not that this upsets me in the least; I know that baby boy will make his grand entrance when he is good and ready to. I read somewhere that practicing patience and allowing baby to come on his own terms is the first act of selflessness as a mother, and creates the foundation for your relationship. I couldn't possibly agree more. The thing is, I found myself feeling guilty for taking this week off before he has even arrived. Though I'm happy I did take the time (weird things have happened this week that I would be MORTIFIED had they happened at work, like peeing myself so much I quite literally thought my water broke), I still found myself feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. But why? Why did I not feel deserving of a little leisure before a whole new world of beautiful chaos arrived? Surely nobody said anything to make me feel that way. If anything, I've been receiving so many well wishes and good vibe texts/phone calls from coworkers that I could cry with gratitude. So, WHY? Why the sense of anxiousness and feeling like a bum and waking up feeling like I'm doing something wrong? I still don't have the answer. All I know is that I reality checked myself quick by trying to validate those irrational, negative thought processes. And, when I couldn't validate a single one of those nasty, pestering feelings, I finally began to relax. Of course I deserve this time, I've been growing a HUMAN for goodness sakes! And all of mankind knows that once the little bundle is here there is going to be anything but down time available.

So, my advice to all of you mommas, whether you grew your own human, are adopting, or are simply the soon-to-be mother of a fur child, you are so, so deserving of a little calm before the storm (a longed for storm that will be filled with so much love and beauty, of course). Soak. It. Up. Every second you get, and don't you dare feel guilty about it.

With that being said, these past few days have been lovely. I've been going for walks, meditating, bike rides, doing a little soul searching, reading, spending quality time with my furry kids, organizing/cleaning the house and of course, napping (and yes I have done a few reports for work too, but that was inevitable). Sure, I've also been experiencing pregnancy-related incontinence, braxton hicks, and cramping in the midst of it all as well--but that's all part of the process of bringing a little nugget into this world, isn't it. <3

The first photo is of the gorgeous lilacs I picked this week, courtesy of my momma's neighbor's backyard (thanks, Walt!). I could eat them, it's just the most delicious aroma, ever. I keep stealing sniffs from that bottle of Young Living Clary Sage essential oil too! But only sniffs, it's been contraindicated for use during pregnancy, but is said to be wonderful for use in active labor.

I will keep you all updated as soon as we get any action from our little guy!