{40 Weeks}

Well, we're officially 40 weeks pregnant and little munchkin is still all snug in this belly. The anticipation of baby boy has been making me feel a surge of emotions that I really just cannot explain. It's been an unreal notion that this was already my first week of maternity leave! After my appointment last week and finding out we were dilated and effaced as much as we were I thought for sure it was only a matter of days, perhaps even hours at the time. But no...here we are, a week later and still towing a belly that is rounder than ever. Not that this upsets me in the least; I know that baby boy will make his grand entrance when he is good and ready to. I read somewhere that practicing patience and allowing baby to come on his own terms is the first act of selflessness as a mother, and creates the foundation for your relationship. I couldn't possibly agree more. The thing is, I found myself feeling guilty for taking this week off before he has even arrived. Though I'm happy I did take the time (weird things have happened this week that I would be MORTIFIED had they happened at work, like peeing myself so much I quite literally thought my water broke), I still found myself feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. But why? Why did I not feel deserving of a little leisure before a whole new world of beautiful chaos arrived? Surely nobody said anything to make me feel that way. If anything, I've been receiving so many well wishes and good vibe texts/phone calls from coworkers that I could cry with gratitude. So, WHY? Why the sense of anxiousness and feeling like a bum and waking up feeling like I'm doing something wrong? I still don't have the answer. All I know is that I reality checked myself quick by trying to validate those irrational, negative thought processes. And, when I couldn't validate a single one of those nasty, pestering feelings, I finally began to relax. Of course I deserve this time, I've been growing a HUMAN for goodness sakes! And all of mankind knows that once the little bundle is here there is going to be anything but down time available.

So, my advice to all of you mommas, whether you grew your own human, are adopting, or are simply the soon-to-be mother of a fur child, you are so, so deserving of a little calm before the storm (a longed for storm that will be filled with so much love and beauty, of course). Soak. It. Up. Every second you get, and don't you dare feel guilty about it.

With that being said, these past few days have been lovely. I've been going for walks, meditating, bike rides, doing a little soul searching, reading, spending quality time with my furry kids, organizing/cleaning the house and of course, napping (and yes I have done a few reports for work too, but that was inevitable). Sure, I've also been experiencing pregnancy-related incontinence, braxton hicks, and cramping in the midst of it all as well--but that's all part of the process of bringing a little nugget into this world, isn't it. <3

The first photo is of the gorgeous lilacs I picked this week, courtesy of my momma's neighbor's backyard (thanks, Walt!). I could eat them, it's just the most delicious aroma, ever. I keep stealing sniffs from that bottle of Young Living Clary Sage essential oil too! But only sniffs, it's been contraindicated for use during pregnancy, but is said to be wonderful for use in active labor.

I will keep you all updated as soon as we get any action from our little guy!



Bumpdate: 38+3 Weeks

 Diaper Bag: A simple Skip-Hop found HERE at Babies R'Us

Weeks Pregnant: 38 weeks + 3
 

Baby Size: About 6 1/2 lbs. and over 19 inches long, according to Baby Center. They also say that little man has quite a firm grasp by now (which I really cannot wait to test)!

Weight Gain: I've officially hit the 30 lb. mark. Though I really do feel like it's all quite "belly."

Symptoms: Heartburn! A few Braxton Hicks contractions--okay, okay, I pushed myself a little hard one day this week and thought a 9 mile bike ride was a good idea...it wasn't. I was contracting so bad when I got home I truly thought I was going to have our little dude that night. As of right now there is quite a bit of pressure down there. I joke with my co-workers that I feel as though I'm going to have a toilet baby each time I use the restroom! But really...pressure.

Attire: As I stated last time...I just want to be naked. 24/7. But since it's not socially acceptable, leggings and baggy tops, maxi dresses, loose, flowy pieces. Ah and for some reason having hair in my face has just been driving me nuts lately! So I've been rocking the half top-knots/ponies, and all pulled-back look (whether it's cute or not).

Exercise: Walking, biking, light yoga, and meditation. Oh and of course my main squeeze...the stability ball (sorry, babe). There's no words to describe the glorious relief it (briefly) provides me with.

Movement: He's still just a rollin' in there. His tush sticks out right below my sternum, occasionally you just see this round bump pop up out of my belly and it's the strangest thing, yet the cutest, because I know it's his bum! <3

Missing: There's nothing more incredible than caring for something in the most primal way possible. Nourishing him with what I nourish myself with goes back to the basics and the experience of it all has been so beautiful. Though this pregnancy has been absolutely wonderful, and never have I felt more beautiful than while carrying this little nugget...I am ready to have my body back. I'm ready to not feel like my vagina is inside out and like an arm might pop out of my belly button. I'm ready for my back to stop aching and to not feel like a whale when tossing and turning at night. I'm ready for my nipples to go back to their original color (no one tells you about that!) and for these road-map veins to fade. Though these are all signs and the workings of a miracle and I've welcomed each and every wild symptom, I'm ready for our little miracle to be able to be held in our arms, not just my belly.
And my yoga practice, I do miss inversions, so I'm completely excited for the challenge to work my way back to where I was (and beyond!) prior to pregnancy.

Cravings: Green olives. :)

Sleep: Glass half full- all the not sleep I'm getting due to discomfort and urinating like a horse is just a trial run to prep me for the not sleep I'll get with little man!

Mood: Typically upbeat and happy. Some feelings of stress and a little overwhelmed from work and prepping for maternity leave, but overall, feeling great.

Birth Prep: Still focusing on deep breathing and meditation to help ease labor pain. And the hospital bags are packed!: momma's bag, Finn man's  bag, and daddy's bag. We really did pack the bare necessities for each.

Momma's bag:

-Leggings and a baggy going home top

-Toiletries (travel size shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, toothbrush, body wash, body wipes, face wash, moisturizer, hair spray, and lotion).

-Hair ties and pins

-A comfy robe

-Comfy pajamas (pants and camisole)

-Soft slippers

-5 pair of Hanes granny-panties :D

-Dulcolax (I was told it was an absolute MUST for that first, post-partum poo).

-2 nursing bras

-Camera and charger

-Phone charger

 -Crystals I use to meditate with: citrine, malachite, and clear quartz
-Lavender essential oil to calm myself during labor (and I'm waiting for clary sage to arrive that's supposed to help with contractions!).
-Some home-made positive affirmations/quotes of inspiration to help keep my "power" and positivity strong during the process.

(diaper bag featured on top of page)

For my first days home, I also bought the necessary ingredients to make "panty sundaes." Sounds sexy eh'?...it's not. The largest maxi pads you can find + witch hazel + cooling aloe vera + a freezer and you've got girly-parts gold...so I hear, anyway.:)

Oh and this is the fridge-worthy to-do list I created for when the big moment arrives! Number 5 was necessary for hubs (and me too).

What I Am Loving: YAY it's MAY! That we're officially in our son's due date month and will be meeting him (if he's not a stinker that stays in there past 40 weeks) in less than 2 weeks! <3

The day is getting closer and closer! I can't wait to start blogging about the transition from pregnancy to parenthood and testing out all the baby goods! Also, for you Instagrammers out there, make sure you follow @maternitymuse! They literally have the most inspiring and adorable mommies, and it's such a great way to connect with other women who are experiencing pregnancy and parenthood!